- I have recently realized that I am somewhat relationship dependent. Although I know I would be fine on my own, I prefer to have a "significant other." I have had four serious relationships, and I have learned a lot about myself through each of them. I'm not sure how the memories of each of them make me think about my family, but for some reason they do. I have always looked up to my sister, which is another reason I think relationships are important to me. She was always in one, so I think that subconsciously maybe I felt as though I should be in them aswell. I know I made my own choices, but I think a large part of me looked at what she has done, and then decided. Not only that, but I also ask her, and my mom, for constant advice. Even though I do think they were right in just about all their opionions, a part of me wonders if I made the choices I did more for them, or for me. Everything has turned out to be exactly how it should be I think, but sometimes I do wonder if this is what I have always wanted.
- Sports have always been a top priority to the members of my family. My 2 sisters and I have all put countless hours of hard work into the sports we have chosen to play. Although this is true, things have not always turned out as we had hoped, for any of us. It's almost as if the harder we try, the worse things get. High school soccer was one of the greatest times in my life, but by far one of the hardest. I had my heart broken by a man who had known me for all of three months, and who could have cared less about me. He completely ripped my heart out, and stomped on dreams that I had had for years. It still hard for me to put into words how much pain he put me through. Even though I hated him and almost couldn't bear to look at a soccer ball again, I decided to fuel all of my emotions into something else. Instead of giving up, I took what he gave me, a spot on the JV team, and began my journey to prove him wrong. It wasn't half way through the season that he began to realize that he was wrong, and end of it all I had received the Varsity letter I knew I deserved, and had a starting spot for the following year. This was some of the worst emotional pain I had ever gone through, and I was hoping that I had paid my soccer suffering dues and my time was over. Well, I was wrong. Not even 5 weeks into my club season my senior year, I completely blew out my ACL. Most would think that this would be where the physical pain would come into play. Although the surgery was more painful than any other I have experienced, nothing compared to the realization that my high level soccer days were over. Not only was I now too scared to play at the level I was, my knee physically could not take it. I would trade this pain for the pain I felt in high school any day.
(all of this caused a lot of stress to all the members of my family, so I will tie that in as well)
- My second cousin, Isaiah, was born with Menkes disease. This is a very deadly disease that usually causes death in infancy. Isaiah only stayed with us for eight short months. From the day I went to greet him for the first time in the hospital, to the last time when I said goodbye to him in the very same hospital, I remember every minute I spent with him. We knew he'd only be with us for a short time, so I made sure to hold on to every memory I had of him. The day of his funeral was such a gloomy, cold day. I can still remember the preacher comparing his life to that of a daisy. Although Isaiah did brighten up all of our lives, on that day, under those circumstances, a daisy was far too hard for me to picture. It seemed to be something that was far to bright to be thinking about, but for some reason its an image that still sticks with me.
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